The more I saw the film, the more time I was moved by it. Two night before, I saw it again, and I was moved for another time. Admire, envy, and expect...

So slow for the speed of compus network to log in!

Now I am in a state of analysing and dismantling myself in different levels,

First is the spiritual level which I ask myself the questions about the relations between  life and death, now and future, individuals and society, justice and equality. These philosophical questions make my brain hurt and my feelings bad, but I still want to know what I really think about these relations in my heart. I want to see whether I have changed the former recognization of the world and the society around me after I have formed a little critical thinking and logical thinking.

Second is the living enviorment level. Somethings which  seemed very natural in our socity and daily life could be questioned by me such as "How could a people think it's nature that we should have rice everyday in South China? Can't anyone of us feel it strange for we have had it for more than a thousand years?" But no one around me would like to discuss these with me. What a pity~

Third level could be individual level. I am wondering whether my working on IR is right or not. In the past 2 years, I have no doubt that I have found my interest in studing IR, but in recent times, I find my real interest is just enjoying the thinking and questioning process. The point is how could I making a living just by enjoying thinking?

All these quesions and problems around me which make me feel that I am going to be dismantled by them. 

Then a new question come out, how could I reconstruct myself after I dismantle myself?